Cunnilingus 101
by Kylyssa Shay

Cunnilingus 101

Cunnilingus is the fine art of sexually pleasing a woman with
your tongue. Beyond that there's a lot of room for
interpretation. There's no single "right" way to give head to a
woman. I'm not a believer in universal techniques nor do I offer
a "one size fits all" approach to sex. This article holds only
suggestions, practical tips to help you on your way to your own
journey of sexual discovery.

Before you begin ask her what she likes and let her know you
are open to and very appreciative of directions such as
"harder", "faster", "slower", "deeper", "right there" and so on.
You can even pre-arrange a signal that you've hit the spot
such as tapping you with a hand, moaning, or screaming, "yes,
yes, oh, fuck, yes!"

While the eventual focus of cunnilingus is the woman's
genitals, it's important to build up to it, to ease into oral sex.
Direct contact with the genitals before a woman is well aroused
may be a turn off to her or even uncomfortable, especially
direct contact with an unaroused clitoris. Kiss and caress her
mouth, face, neck, ears, breasts, belly, back, thighs... you get
the idea. Nibble, nuzzle, and carefully nip. Blowing on freshly
licked, kissed, or nipped skin can be just lovely, too.

Start slowly and pay attention to the entire woman and once
you get there, her entire genital region and not just her clit.
Again, tease and create a build-up. Kiss and lick her labia and
work your way to the clitoris. To avoid uncomfortable friction
always make sure that whatever contacts her clit is well
moistened, whether it is a tongue, a finger, a vibrator, or your

When you reach the clit, flatten and soften your tongue as if
you were licking an ice cream cone. A pointed, stiff tongue can
sometimes be too hard on a sensitive clit as well as being too
difficult to maintain if you happen to find the right rhythm with it.
My advice is to save your stiff, flicking tongue for her labia and
the rim of her vagina.

Whether you lick top to bottom, around, or side to side start
licking slowly and steadily, build the pace. Speed is not always
a plus; most women prefer a precise rhythm, steady and
consistent, regardless of the speed. In general, women don't
come as fast as men do so endurance rather than velocity is
key. Please be patient and take your time. If you are going to
want to hurry things up, you should wait until you have more
time or until you are in a different mood before you have oral

Here's where we'll look at licking, kissing, and sucking
techniques. Remember, these are things to try, the things
women like and don't like are as individual as women are. If
something doesn't get a positive response, move on and try
something new.

A basic technique is to simply lick the clitoris either from side to
side or from bottom to top repeatedly with a flat, soft tongue.
Try different pressures and rhythms.

Relax your mouth and press it, open, against her clitoral area.
Lap at the clitoris and suck at it softly while it is inside your
mouth. As a variation, you can suck her clitoris into your mouth
and delicately lick it while maintaining the suction. Give her a
tiny blow job while delicately pulling her clitoral hood back with
your thumbs on either side.

Hold your tongue flat against her clit, pressing firmly with it and
move your whole head up and down or from side to side,
creating a rocking effect. This may allow you to apply deeper
but still gentle pressure to her clit.

Purse your lips as if you were saying, "ooh" and cover her clit
with them. Then gently and slowly swirl your tongue around her
clit inside your mouth. Move your tongue in one continuous
motion, either clockwise or counter clockwise.

Do not, and I repeat do not EVER bite or even nip the clitoris
without first asking your partner. It can be extremely painful for
her and potentially dangerous to you – if you catch my drift.

Some women will be greatly aroused if you moan, groan, or
growl while going down on them. It's both physically (the
vibrations of the sound) and psychologically arousing. It lets
your partner know you are really turned on by giving her head.

Don't forget that you have arms and hands while giving head.
Use them to caress her body, her breasts. Use them to finger
her and provide additional stimulation. Use them to hold her as
she orgasms!

This may be the most important tip, right here - do not stop
until she indicates she wants you to. Unlike most men, many
women not only enjoy continued stimulation during orgasm but
actually NEED it to continue coming. With continued stimulation
some women experience cascades of orgasm that can last
several minutes. If a woman begins moaning, breathing
heavier, bucking or pressing your face into her pussy or
saying, "don't stop", it doesn't mean it's time to switch things
up, it means you should keep doing exactly what you are doing
at the same speed you are doing it at as long as you can keep
it up.

Communicate with each other, before, during, and after sex.
This is always the best way to fine-tune your mutual sexual

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Kylyssa is a freelance
writer and a wanton,
lascivious hedonist.  She
is passionate about
sensuality, and the First
Amendment.  You can
read her
strange and sexy blog at