Fingering: Touching Tips to Please Your Partner
by Kylyssa Shay
Fingering or manual stimulation is great foreplay, great
sex play, and great fun. It seems like a real no-brainer,
fingering. However, there are some common mistakes
that can be a real turn off for your girlfriend.
I’ll cover a few dos and a few don’ts but the real way to
learn how to please your partner with your hands is to
communicate with her. If possible watch her masturbate in
a well lit room and take note of what she does. Mental
note, that is.
The clitoris does not enjoy a dry touch, it chafes. Always
moisten your fingers with saliva, lube, or vaginal juices
before touching the clit. Be sure to keep your nails
smooth and well trimmed to avoid scratching her most
delicate tissues. Always wash your hands well before
touching your playmate’s genitals. For safer finger
banging you may wear latex, nitrile, or neoprene gloves or
Most women enjoy constant, repetitive motion to one or
both sides of their clitoris. Some women cannot stand
direct pressure on their clitoris but prefer a soft, firm
pressure to their entire genital region. You can use your
finger pads (the fingerprint area all the way down to the
second finger joint) rather than your fingertips to provide
this kind of stimulation to her clit. Whether you rub it in a
circular motion, up and down, or back and forth keep in
mind that speed does not win this race. Rhythm is the
answer. The key is often not going too fast, too soon,
especially on the clit. Build up speed slowly and smoothly.
Literally “banging” her with your fingers may not be
enjoyable for your partner. Fingers are not as soft and
resilient as a penis nor are they nearly as aerodynamic.
Instead try inserting first one well lubricated finger and
stroking her vaginal walls lightly. Alternate this with gentle,
lubricated clitoral stimulation.
When she's good and wet, insert a second finger and
begin stroking the anterior (front) wall of her vagina in a
"come hither" motion. You may or may not feel a rougher
or slightly raised area on that wall. If so, it's likely her g-
spot, if not, don't worry, she probably just has a more
discreet joy button. Start with light stroking pressure and
increase it. Ask her if she likes it or if she wants more.
You may be surprised at the pressure some women want
or like on their g-spot once you get going.
For more stimulation, either lick her clit or delicately touch
it with your other hand. Fingering can be out-of-this world
when combined with cunnilingus.
Remember that every woman is different and that there
are no one-size-fits-all techniques that work for everyone.
|Kylyssa is a freelance
writer and a wanton,
lascivious hedonist. She
is passionate about
sensuality, and the First
Amendment. You can
strange and sexy blog at