How to Be Sexy - As a Couple
by Gian Fiero

The other day I was standing in line at the grocery store, and I
glanced at the covers of several magazines. Many of them
advertised articles on relationship topics such as "How to keep
the fire burning," and "How to Make Your Relationship Affair

Topics such as these have their role in the repertoire of
self-help materials which flood the market and feed the fears
and insecurities of women, but they also contribute indirectly to
something else: the belief that the woman is responsible for
preventing her man from going astray. That's foolish. It's also

Men go stray because they choose to go astray. So do women.
What both (mature) men and women can agree upon is that
the success of any relationship requires commitment and
collaboration...and sex...quality sex.

To that end, this article provides couples with some helpful
ways in which they can achieve greater intimacy through better
sexual interaction and activities.

ADDRESS YOUR FEARS: When fears are left unattended in a
relationship, they grow. They also make us feel vulnerable. It's
simply not possible to be truly intimate, without being
vulnerable. The fear of getting hurt, rejected, or disappointed
looms large. Open and honest conversations about such fears
will enable you to understand their origins, and eradicate them.

COMMUNICATE OPENLY: Most couples know the importance
of communication. What they don't know is that communication
styles impact the effectiveness of that communication. To
improve communication, acknowledge what was said and give
feedback. This reduces discrepancies between what you
heard, and what was said.

EXERCISE TOGETHER: People are not only motivated to
work-out for health related reasons. Surveys show that
increasing or maintaining sex appeal is just as important. Why
not do it together as a couple? Healthiness and sexiness go
hand-in-hand. Who will appreciate your nice physique more
than a partner who was involved in the process of creating it?

GO DANCING: There's a reason why "Dancing With The
Stars" has been a hit for the last several years: It's a sexy
show! You may not be able to dance like the contestants on
the show, but you can certainly enjoy the stimulating benefits
of physically interacting with your partner while they are looking
their best while dancing.

SPEND TIME TOGETHER NAKED: Get comfortable with each
others bodies. Know where and how your partner likes to be
touched. The greater the comfort level you achieve in your
state of nakedness, less inhibited your love making will be.

MASSAGE EACH OTHER: Massages are perhaps the most
underutilized, and highly appreciated, sensual activity of
couples. When given in an environment which is conducive to
relaxation (soft music, candlelit room, etc.) a firm (or gentle)
massage can relieve tension, stress, and awaken your
dormant sexual desires when special attention is payed to your
erogenous zones. Incorporate scented oils to maximize the
sensuality of your massage experience.

GO SHOPPING: Taking your man shopping to find clothes that
capture his handsomeness can be both an educational and
bonding experience. But do men hate shopping with women?
Yes, but it all depends on what they are shopping for. In this
sexy scenario you are purchasing clothes that he has a vested
interest in (such as the sexy outfits you will wear while out
dancing). Watching a woman slither in and out of a dressing
room in sexy clothes is very arousing.

that children see more violence growing up than they see
public displays of affection. Like Stevie Wonder sings, the
world is in need of a little love today - show it to them! Public
displays of affection tend to come naturally to new couples who
can't keep their hands off of each other. All couples should
follow suit.

MAKE LOVE...SLOWLY: In a world that has become
increasingly fast-paced, why would wouldn't you? This is the
time when the world should slow down long enough for you to
feel as though time does not exist, and your pleasure, is the
most important thing in the world. After all, being sexy as a
couple is comprised of moments which lead to, and come down
to this.

Gian Fiero lives in the United
States. He is an educator, speaker
and consultant who specializes in
personal growth issues. He lives
in Hollywood, California. For more
information visit his site
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