Owning Your Sexuality: You Aren't Who You Are Attracted To
by Jenna Stevenson

It's easy in today's society to try to force yourself into one category or
another where your sexuality is concerned. By society's standards if you
are a woman that is attracted to and has relations with other women you
are a lesbian, if you are a man that is attracted to and has relations with
other men you are gay, and if you are either male or female and you are
attracted to both sexes then you are bi-sexual. These standards are fairly
rigid, especially because for most of us sexuality is a journey, an
exploration not only of the people around us, but also of ourselves. If we
force ourselves to be shoe horned into one of these categories or another
we may not be experiencing something that we could really enjoy or that
may be a large part of who we are.

Don't Force It!
If you are predominately attracted to one sex or the other don't force the
issue. Yes, by all standards you may then either be gay or straight but
there is no need to assume that things couldn't change. Even if you are a
man that has always been attracted to women there is nothing to say that
there isn't a man out there that is so perfectly suited for you that you
wouldn't at least consider a relationship with him. Does this mean that you
are no longer straight? No! It just means that you cannot force the issue.
You are not who you are attracted to, and you cannot force yourself to fit into
one orientation or another. You are who you are and you are attracted to
people because of who they are.

Go Ahead, Experiment!
If you are curious about whether or not your mere attraction to other men or
women may be physical why not experiment? As long as you are safe and
you take precautions to only experiment with people who are equally as
safe, as discretionary, and as quiet about their sexual encounters as you
are you will find that you can experiment and find out what else may be out
there. If you enjoy yourself, then you will have found a whole new side of
yourself. If you find that it is not for you, then you know and you will have
grown as a person.

Sex should be Fun!
Sex is a form of expression, and only you know and can choose who you
want to have sex with. You don't have to have sex with only one type of
person or one sex to be okay with yourself. As long as you aren't hurting
yourself or anyone else, allow yourself to have fun with your body and to
explore through sex and sexuality. Too many people hold back and identify
themselves through who they have sex with, and that really is not any way
to live!


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