December 30,
Dear Diary,

As I previously wrote, Tommy and I had sex on
Christmas. This is bad to say but at this very
moment, I don't feel guilty. Does that make me a bad
person? After our last hot sweaty night on Christmas,
I can't seem to stop thinking about him. The bad thing
is I still have feelings for Brad.

January 2,
Dear Diary,

New Years was a blast! Me, Brad, Kimmie and
Tommy went to Times Square in Manhattan to watch
the ball drop. It was cold but very romantic. Brad held
me tight as we stood and watched the festivities, He
felt so comfortable to me. There was actually snow
falling from the sky. I opened my mouth and tried to
catch some flakes in my mouth and on my tongue. It
felt tingly, but It was something fun to do. When Brad
realized what I was doing he just stood there looking
very amused. He laughed while brushing remains of
snow from my hair and just watched me with a curious

When I turned around there was Kimmie and Tommy
going at it in the streets, tonguing each other down.
This is strange to say but at that moment I felt so
jealous knowing that Tommy was kissing her as he
had kissed me and I wondered if she was any better
than I at kissing him. Tommy finally broke their kiss to
glance over his shoulder at me. I guess maybe he
could feel me staring at them. He looked at me then
smiled and winked.I smiled back at him, Kimmie
pulled his face back to hers and they were at it again.

Brad grabbed my hand and turned me to him and
kissed me passionately. We stayed in Manhattan until
3:30am. It was a very special night. I have a feeling
this will be a year that I will never forget.

January 11,
Dear Diary,

Today, I spent the day with Kimmie. Before we finally
got a chance to rest we ran errands for Kimmie's
mother. She had a list of groceries that she wanted us
to get for supper. When we returned back we watched
DVDs in Kimmie's room. Kimmie sat on the floor with
her legs in a folded position and her back was resting
against her bed..  I laid on my stomach while on her
bed, watching the movies we rented and admired
Kimmie with occasional glances.

Suddenly so many thoughts began to flood my mind.
Thoughts about me and Tommy having sex, and
Kimmie possibility being pregnant... I finally got
enough courage to asked Kimmie if she was in fact

"No..I got my period." she said.casually.

"why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I didn't want to bother you...I knew you were busy
and all..." she responded.

"You should know that I am never too busy for you." I

Kimmie got up and walked to her closet. She started
looking thought boxes sitting on her closet floor. I
asked her what she was doing, but she did not
respond. Her back was turned to me. Before I knew it,
she had taken something out of a box, but I just didn't
get a good enough look to see what it was.

"Here you want to try this..." She said

It was a body massager. She laid on the bed next to
me and began to massage her shoulders. I watched
attentively, as she seemed almost controlled by the
tool as she began to massage it in between her thighs
& legs. She seemed to become so relaxed.Almost in

"Here do you want to try it...I feel so relaxed..." she

I slowly nodded yes. She told me to lay on my back
as she began to massage my shoulders and neck. By
this time she had straddled me, with her hips across
mine. I closed my eyes because I didn't want her to
know how much I was enjoying it, but I think that she
knew. She slowly unbuttoned my blouse and began to
caress my breast. My eyes were still closed because
I wanted to believe that this was dream. I could feel
her massaging under my breast, my stomach and my

I laid there thinking if she ever treated Tommy like
this, it would be impossible for him to resist her. I
mentally made a note to prevent myself from getting
turned on by this at all costs; but it was not working
very well. Afterward, we sat on her bed both bra-less,
drinking soda and talking; acting as if nothing had
happened.. We both knew that what happened
between us was clearly crossing the line. But I don't
think we cared. It was just an innocent massage.

January 20
Dear Diary

My mother sent me to Tommy's house to deliver a
dress she had borrowed from Tommy's mother.
Tommy's mom was not there. Tommy answered the
door in his shorts and no  t-shirt. He smiled and asked
me to sit and talk for a while We talked about our
affair and betrayal of Kimmie and Brad. Tommy told
me that he was sorry for his part in what had
happened, but also told me that he felt like he was
falling for me. I tried to reason with him and told him
that it could only be lust and nothing more. He refused
my suggestion and told me that it was more than
that.  He grabbed onto my hands. I tried to resist, but
gave in to his touch. He said I was the only person
that he has ever kissed that has made him cum just by
a kiss. Its odd to say, but he has the same affect on
me.. He brushed my cheek softly and told me that he
loved me and kissed me passionately. I felt so dizzy
and I felt as though I couldn't breath. I thought I would
faint. My heart started beating fast, and finally I felt
like I could breath again.

No words are spoken between us now. With my eyes
closed, I rested my head against his shoulder, There
was no sex this time. Because we told each other that
this has got to stop..
But I guess because of our circumstances at the
moment, I have to believe that this is nothing more
than lust.


January 29,
Dear Diary

I spent the night with Brad. His parents were away for
a few days. He cooked a romantic candle light dinner.
We sat and talked by the fireplace and just enjoyed
each others' company. I remember talking about the
movie I saw with Kimmie the other day, but he
stopped me in mid sentence and placed his index
finger on my lips. He looked into my eyes and
whispered "I love you." Tears welled up in his eyes as
he whispered this to me

"I know, " I responded. I just couldn't manage to get
myself to tell him that I loved him.

He then finally pulled himself together and began to
kiss my neck.. I reached down in his pants and played
with his cock and balls slowly;And grabbing it nice and
firm so he would know that I meant business.. I could
feel  his cock growing in my hands and I could feel the
tip of his cock getting moist and sticky. I heard him
grunting and moaning and his eyes were closed. He
began to caress my nipples, pinching on the tips as I
played with his cock.

Before I knew it, I was undressing Brad, pulling down
his pants and underwear. And he was slowly pulling up
my shirt and pulling down my panties. Then slowly
unbuttoned my blouse, revealing my bare breast.
Before I knew it, he had me straddled on the floor. He
rubbed the tip of his cock onto my slit, getting it moist
for his entry. Within just a few thrusts he was all the
way in. I could feel his balls begin to slowly slap my
ass with each thrust. We  explored each others
mouths with our tongues.

This was the moment I was waiting for so long; it
finally happened. To have him inside of me. I
wrapped my legs around his waist not wanting to
never let him go. There was not much words said
between us, All that could be heard was each others
moans, and heavy breathing. Finally after almost an
hour, I came. Brad was still thrusting inside of me. "I
don't want to stop he moaned" . Feeling a bit weak,
my body collapsed trying to catch my breath. He ask
me how I felt, and my only response, almost
unconsciously, maybe even as a verbal reflex, I  
whispered that I loved him. He stopped thrusting
inside me and looked into my eyes and smiled at me
then kissed me again. I felt like I was going to cry,
then tears rolled down my cheeks. I continued crying.
Brad looked at me and smiled and said,
"I know you love me. I feel the same way...I love you
too..." Maybe Brad is the man that I truly love.

Read October's Diary
Read November's Diary
Read December's Diary
Dear Diary January...
This is my diary that I am about to share with you. For those of you that
have read my erotic stories series entitled SWEETNESS, this will give
you more depth to my character from what I call the "Beginning"
(during the high school years; the year prior). For those who have not
yet read my erotic stories; Start with my diary and I will lead you to my
journey of Sweetness.