Welcome back to the Best of 2006 Awards, this month featuring the Best and Worst Hentai of the year.
First thing, and this is important, is the fact that… well… I haven’t been receiving any votes from anyone. Come on, this is really an interactive voting thing we have going for you, and your vote will count for something… but, of course, you’ll need to VOTE before your vote can count. Just like the elections only the creators of La Blue Girl and Parade Parade won’t swap mud smearing campaign ads and negative webcommercials to drive away voters… voters seem more than willing to stay away on their own merits without all the negative campaigning.
It’s only two more weeks to vote so make sure you vote! Full instructions and voting categories can be found on the Nominations thread from last month (should be in archives I guess), so check it out and please vote! Deadline is December 15th (in two weeks once this goes up) so vote vote vote (Did I mention to go and vote? Vote!)
OK. ONE MORE TIME! WITH FILLIN -- I MEAN FEELING! Don't forget to check out the archived thread from last month to see the categories you're voting on.
Best of 2006 Awards
Nominate three titles per category (maximum), however three nominations are not necessary and blank categories are OK (if you don’t have any nominations for a particular category).
Nominees for each category will be announced in January (the start of the voting for Best of winners).
Now it's time for the Best/Worst of 2006... check it.
Best/Worst Hentai of 2006
Let’s start off with the worst… why not.
WORST HENTAI ANIMES of 2006
Magic Woman M AHS 1-2
What’s with the fantasy hentai’s obsession with monster/demon rape only scenes? Considering both of these two AHS DVDer features enough female accompanyment for at least ONE lesbian scene (or a few straight scenes) why is everything all monsters and tentacles and whatever! Lack of innovation and the same one trick pony sex scene run over and over again ad nauseum brings this one down.
(I was either going to bash this or Private Psycho Lessons but at least that one had one lesbian scene.)
Mail Order Maiden No. 27
Old school hentai that wasn’t cool the first time out isn’t cool after x amount of years. Nuff said.
Sailor & the Seven Ballz
With a flash animation that is only slightly better than Lil’ Pimp (the straight to DVD nightmare animation that should never have been shot… yes, William Shatner, I still damn you for being in this one), this bland erotic-less paint by numbers bangfest isn’t worth your time (or money) to watch. Boring!!
Sexy Sailor Soldiers
How come there’s like 400+ lesbian pairing stories (erotic and normal) concerning the Sailor Soldiers out there on the grand open web and this clone series is fixated on… what? Oh… demon/tentacle rape. Yeah. That makes zero point zero sense!
Creators of this one, have thou never heard of “truth in advertising”? This is one hentai anime I’d like to see taken over by Americans (I.e. the people behind the “No Man’s Land” lesbian erotica live action series) because at least then the words “Girls Will Do Girls” will actually mean it’s a DVD where girls will… yes… do girls! 110% girls do girls. Accept nothing less.
WORST HENTAI MANGAS/AMEROTICA/EUROTICA of 2006
The only secret about Emily’s secret is how this could have been a wonderful lesbian love story but it only happens at the end (when Emily finally realizes her feelings for her friend and vice versa) and it goes nowhere fast. It could have been better, but it isn’t.
Directionless, without either merit or any hook to catch readers, this bland collection of not so sexy, let’s bang away at the big titted woman characters enough times and see if anyone cares before this is all over way of making hentai manga doesn’t work for me… shouldn’t work for you either, come to think of it.
Miku’s Sexual Orgy Diary
Could anything be anymore boring or paint by numbers than the diary of one woman whose sex life is mind numbingly repetitive in the way she‘s “sexed“ over and over again (to the point that the ending shouldn’t shock anyone when it happens)? I can’t honestly think of a more boring thing than this, though one of these days I bet I will find that boring something… like it or not.
WORST PSUEDO or KINDA HENTAI VIDEO GAMES on CONSOLES
(NOTE : NOTICE HOW THIS IS THE FISTFUL OF HENTAI POTENTIAL ON THE CONSOLES AND NOTHING OUT NOW FROM WHAT I’VE SEEN OF WHAT’S OUT SEEMS TO BE ANY GOOD… WONDER IF THAT’S A COINCIDENCE).
Any Game Mimicking the Prostitute Gimmick from GTA:Vice City & San Andreas
It’s only mildly interesting in San Andreas (and only with a cheat code), so watching it get mimicked over and over again in certain other games (whose name slips my mind) is no fun… might be a mild time passer, sure, but it won’t be totally fun.
BMX XXX (PS2)
Let’s see… you’re not here for the so-so “radical” bike thrashing (you can find better urban gaming in any Tony Hawk gaming), and you’re not here for the “colorful” characters or the “wonderous” story so I guess that means you’re here for… the strippers. However that (as an unlockable) is not as “special” as it might have been. Why is this game a M for Mature 17+ game with a ton of warnings and YET someone still felt the need to “censor” the strippers to not show upper breast nudity… what the!!
Leisure Suit Larry : Magna Cum Laude (PS2)
Sure, we could have played King’s Quest (first and last seen on the PSOne), Space Quest, Police Quest, or Near Sighted Pharmacist slash Eye Doctor in a Small Western Town Quest but instead we got this from SIERRA. Of all the possible games from their many years of fulfilling PC gaming potential they dragged this out of the gutter and ported it to the PS2... What the hell were they thinking!
Rockstar Games Spades and Neuters “Hot Coffee” mode out of Grand Theft Auto : San Andreas
What part of the Grand Theft Auto games is meant for Adults Only?!? Somehow a M for Mature (17+) and AO for Adult Only (18+) seems to slide right under many a parent’s radar only to later prompt them to attempt to sue Rockstar Games when they finally realize the game is not for their little child… what a discovery! Anyway while Parents Groups are wrong to go after Rockstar Games for a common sense judgement call that parents seem unwilling or unable to make (Grand Theft Auto is not for anyone under 16, people, JUST SAY NO!), Rockstar Games was wrong to bend their spines to them by axing out the little seen (hard to access) “Hot Coffee” sex mode from San Andreas that only so many seemed to get ahold of after hours of code hacking and so forth… damn.
Please stop spade and neutering games to make certain loud noisy parent groups happy. Please.
BEST KINDA HENTAI VIDEO GAMES ON CONSOLES
Dead to Rights (PS2)
If you ever wanted to play a stripper mini game where the stripper doesn’t strip (as she is already on stage nearly naked) and only bumps and grinds to the tapping of the X, O, triangle and square buttons then here you go… if there’s more to this than this I have yet to find it… must look some more.
Playboy the Mansion (PS2)
Probably the only good game of the batch, if you wanted to play a naughty dirty Sims knockoff and you can’t get ahold of that European Sims knockoff filled with sex then this might be for you… only, yes, eventually this so-so faux Sims (which does the Sims a few steps better with techniques never before seen or used in any Sims games to date) will become a drag to play. Sad that this is the best to play, but I don’t know of any other that’ll come up to having some sort of sex content as this one has.
BEST HENTAI ANIMES of 2006
A year after his brother died a man looks towards his former love and the chance of finally getting her into his life as a lover… only to realize that true love doesn’t always come the way you want it, or with the person you think you are meant to be with. A beautiful story with a nice twist ending as true love finds it’s way into two people’s lives, now all we need is a sequel.
No, I haven’t reviewed it yet but it is on my list as something I am sure that I will score high.
When one female discovers she is having a hard time getting to the Big O… no, not the giant robot from that BANDAI series, I mean the OTHER Big O… she gets the help of her sister (oooh… incest), a psychic, a mad scientist, mother (more incest), lesbians and more to help her get to that special moment.
This should be an interesting review.
More on plot than sex, the sex is still good and the love between that “special” singing star and her lesbian manager is just so special… now if only there was a sequel to this, sequel me please whoever made this.
The amazing couple that started our reviews off months and months ago (right after Sex Ward).
Friends become sexfriends, and things just get better and better.
Nurses that are NOT being forced through mind control tricks to have sex… what an “original” concept! More soap opera than Slave Nurses, Sex Ward has a little something for everyone including a lesbian scene and… uh… let’s just stick to the lesbian scene as that something different. Yuck.
BEST HENTAI MANGAS/AMEROTICA/EUROTICA of 2006
Adventures of a Lesbian College School Girl
Two creators (who may or may not be the inspiration for the story) tell the tale of a frustrated lesbian who is about to find true love in the most unexpected place (when she is set to tutor a new student and she discovers our lead female’s most personal diary of her lesbian life to date. Filled with the most stimulating daydreams and a fanciful love story that needed a sequel, this is recommended if you can get ahold of it.
Makes stories with women packing large breasts actually intelligent. Unlike other series I’ve talked of to date this is the most erotic of experiences on print I’ve reviewed to date. Worth reading for it’s heat and it’s variety in mixing it up now and then keeping it fresh from volume to volume.
I just reviewed it this month so check my review to see what I thought of it.
La Blue Girl
Last month’s Halloween review had this in the review, so check it out to see why I have this on my list.
This is not one of my reviews, but if there has ever been a title that is the definitive lesbian erotica experience it’s Small Favors. If you can find this most rare treasure be sure to get it, it’s perfection in print and a must have for any hentai reader or collector.
That’s that. My year’s Best and Worst of Hentai. Don’t need to take my word for it, check these out for yourself if you can… of course if it’ s the worst your checking then buyer beware.
January has come and it’s time to tell you the nominations for Best of each category, and start the final voting cycle towards picking winners of each category. See you then!