The Foolish Heart
by David Aronson©

She was ball-drainingly hot.
She had the kind of body that made
your cock
stand at attention and salute.
The kind of body that made men
want to tear her clothes off
right there in the street.
Every inch of her skin would whisper
"Fuck me...
You want to fuck me...
You know you want to fuck me..."

And fuck we did,
like turbo-charged bunnies
spiked with ecstasy, viagra and
spanish fly;
like porn stars with a gross of condoms
and six months to live;
like nuns renouncing their vows
at the Vatican orgy.

I was surprised when she offered to fix
me dinner
while her parents were away.
Months of unbridled fornication
had somehow brought out her nesting
instinct.
In keeping with her family's
macaroni-and-cheese aesthetic,
the meal consisted of what is
commonly known as
"shit on a shingle."

My first mistake was being honest
when she asked me if I liked it.
I thought I was being tactful,
but there were twisted and crippled
nasties
creeping and crawling under that wet
dream exterior
that I couldn't even begin to imagine.

She scooped up a gob
of the pustulent meat-and-dairy
concoction
(very un-kosher)
and hurled it at my face,
missing me and splattering it on the
wall,
like a giant diseased hairball
coughed up by a troll.

Before my jaw had time to drop,
she took the entire vat
of rendered animal product
and dumped it over her own head,
then sat for a moment,
wearing the dripping wooden bowl as a
hat,
like a coolie at a food fight
or a kid waiting for a really bad haircut,
before bursting out in tears
and running from the room
and up the staircase,
bawling and yowling like a mother cat
whose kittens had just been drowned.

My second mistake was not taking that
opportunity
to quietly slip out the front door.
Instead, I gingerly peeked around the
door to the bathroom
where she was sprawled on the floor,
crazy limbs akimbo, trembling and
sobbing
like some survivor of a botched
electroshock therapy,
and said, with as much tenderness as I
could muster,
"What's wrong?  What can I do?"
Sucker!
David Aronson lives and works in the Philadelphia area.  His quirky, offbeat drawings, paintings and
illustration combine traditional media such as watercolor, ink, graphite and colored pencil with digital
media and digital collage.  His work ranges from whimsical to fantastic, from highly stylized to
realistically rendered, and has been called unique and highly imaginative.  It mixes lowbrow with fine
art elements and often employs unusual juxtapositions. Thematically, David often delves into the
realms of mythology and psychology.  He has created art for CD covers, music posters and tour
t-shirts.  David is also an oil painter and has completed several public and private commissions.  His
digital animation has been featured on MTV2 and Fuse and his drawings were featured regularly in
BigNews, the New York journal of art and literature.  He is an art teacher, working with both children
and adults and teaching several different media, and was once the sole owner and operator of a
small art school in the Philadelphia suburbs.  He is also a certified hypnotherapist and a published
poet.

Please visit David's site at
www.alchemicalwedding.com
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