~A NOT So Merry Christmas Edition of SexyScopes. "Bah, humbug!" LOL~
Aries March 21 - April 19
Will you stop being a selfish pussy and get it in your head your grandma was always good to you. So
make her wish come true and get her that 8 inch dildo!
Your days for sex have been taken by the Grinch!

Taurus April 20-May 20
Your having a hard time concentrating from all of the coke your snorting. Stop doing the drugs and you
just may figure out how to put up last years tree!
Your days for sex are the 24th 25th and the 31st

Gemini May 21 - June 20
Don’t be surprised at a letter or a phone-call from a distant relative! They will tell you they are from
foreign lands and have the equivalent of 20 million US dollars invested in their foreign bank. Due to civil
conflict and possible war, they need to get that money out now. If you are so kind, and give me, er them,
your bank account information, they will transfer the money, and let you keep 20 percent of it. My
advice is go with your heart and do it! He he he Merry Christmas dummy!
The days for sex are the 1st, 8th and the 25th …  

Cancer June 21 - July 22
It could be hard to make a decision about things since life seems so complicated right now. Actually it's
just that you're a whiny bitch who could take a simple decision such as "original" or "extra crispy" at a
KFC drive-thru and turn it into a ten minute affair !
Your days spent at KFC FOR YOUR 10 MINUTE AFFAIR are the 4th , 24th and Santa took the 28th
from you!

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
Um You might find yourself adopting the persona of many different characters, depending on your
mood of the hour. God, you are one fucked up individual! One minute you are wearing a hockey mask,
and the next you are proclaiming yourself dictator of Cuba. Get back on the Lox pine, schizo! You will
have a special smile that brightens any room, but that is just your homemade grill you created using
aluminum foil and staples. Your only hope is electro shock treatments and a strait jacket.
Your days for sex are none the Grinch got yours too!

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
You are ready to reinvent yourself with a new look. I suggest the "Paper Bag on Head" treatment. It's
your only hope. You have scared away every friend you had. Halloween is over its now Christmas stop
being fucking cheap and get your ass Christmas shopping!
Your days for sex are the 10th, 12th and the 6th    

Libra  Sept. 23-Oct. 23
Fantasy is likely to play a large role in the events of the day, but don't go around dressed as a knight,
stabbing people with a sword again. Your friends are not demons, and killing them will not send their
tormented souls to sweet sugar rock candy heaven land. Seriously, stop screwing around and get some
help!
Your days of sex are nada you made Santa’s bad list so here are some coal and don’t eat them this

Scorpio  Oct. 24-Nov. 21
Scorpios are very selfish and perverted . Was it really necessary last Christmas to knock over all the
Christmas tree’s so you could watch   the  lady's ass as she bent over and picked up all those tree‘s?
Honestly, Scorpios would whack it to a gay donkey!
Your days for sex are the 20th,24th and the 29th

Sagittarius Nov. 22-Dec. 21
Well you cheated last night and what a lovely gift you gave your loved one … A std!
The days for sex are none you already did enough damage

Capricorn Dec. 22-Jan. 19
You will feel irritated and itchy today. That's from the crabs you got off that toilet seat. Tis the season to
get crabs lalalalalala
Your days for sex are the what the fuck? Get cleaned of the crabs first cause your constant itching
done there is sick.

Aquarius Jan. 20-Feb. 18
You've worked hard all year long, and when you went to ask for a raise from your boss, and he said it
wasn't in the budget, that made you mad, huh? Do the right thing and make your boss some brownies.
Make sure to use plenty of eggs, flour, sugar, chocolate, and Ex-Lax, with a whole lot of the latter. When
your boss is shitting blood in the bathroom, sneak into his office and make some prank calls to the
higher ups and send out fake memos such as "Friday is Naked Day" and "Jane from Accounts Payable
likes to be pooped on." When your boss gets fired, the new guy should be more understanding, or he'll
be getting the "Brownie Treatment" too.
Your days for sex are the 7th, 11th, and the 25th

Pisces Feb. 19-March 20
I would say you will have romance in your future, but you have to have a personality first. Go to Hot
Topic, buy some clothes, and be a pretend Goth, which at least would put some make up on your face
and help hide that hideous mug of yours. You could also be an Emo freak, and cry to some wailing rock
songs about how life is too hard to bear while you cut yourself to release the pain. You could also
pretend to be a skater punk and bust your nuts or head while sliding down guard rails and edges of
balconies. On second thought, just tell everyone you are a Scorpio, as it's much better to be a pervert
than a boring loser like you.
Your days for sex are 25th 26th and the 27th


SexyScopes...
by Erotica Writings
December  2008
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