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A Casual Summer Fling: Some Do’s and Don’ts to Keep Your Sanity

By Frank Weber

A summer fling can be an exciting, animalistic and even a hedonistic adventure.

No doubt about that.

But you should never forget that a fling is only a fling.

If you try to make it more than it is, you’ll ruin it…and all of your summer fun will go right down the tubes along with it.

But it’s not really that bad if you keep a few things in mind.

It’s like anything, if you do it right, you can get what you want.

I don’t know of anyone who ever planned a fling and then had one.

Flings just seem to happen – especially in the summertime when a lot of folks are away from home on vacation or out pool-side under the sun. The temptations – not to mention the opportunities – seem a whole lot more plentiful in those few months.

Exponentially more plentiful.

That good ol’ hot and steamy summertime.

Even though summer flings are a casual thing, it’s not the kind of thing you want to ‘play by ear’. You just don’t have enough time to figure it all out as you go.

And you don’t ever want to waste your time worrying about being in a fling.

If you’re ok with it, then just do it.

Casual means that you can take it or leave it. If you want to leave it, then leave it, but if you take it, take all you can get while you can get it.

And have yourself a good goddamn time doing it!

So, after all that…I have a few ideas that might help you keep your sanity if you find yourself ‘flung’ this summer…

Have as much fun as you possibly can!!!

You could have the chance to do the kinds of things you normally wouldn’t even consider. Part of being casual is being uninhibited, and if you happen to meet up with a perfect stranger, you have nothing to lose because you are both complete unknowns.

You don’t have to worry about gossip getting back around to the wrong people.

You don’t have to worry about any preconceived ideas about you – or them.

As long as you keep yourself safe, you really don’t have much to worry about at all.

Have as much fun with each other as you possibly can!!!

Don’t be shy or prudish about it…do anything and everything you can think of doing together.

As long as both of you are of legal age, willing and able, it’s the perfect time to let go of your inhibitions and give yourself a shot at some mind-blowing, star-blasting, electrifying orgasms.

Always show some respect for the other half of the fling.

Just because it’s called a fling, it doesn’t mean you have a free pass to act like a jerk.

If you want to get more, you’d better be respectful about it, or you won’t get much at all, if any.

Besides, it’s always a better liaison if they want to get as much from you as you do from them!

A little respect can go a long way.

Along those same lines, don’t be selfish!

Do whatever you can to get the other person off. Do what they want you to do to get them off.

Then you can expect them to want to please you in return. There’s always a degree of selfishness in any casual relationship, sure, but if you want it to continue past a one-night stand and get a couple nights or even a week out of it, then you better not be too selfish.

And who knows? You might find yourself a new kink to take back home with you.

It’s never a bad thing to have a few unexpected sultry-steamy sexual tricks hidden away in your bag, ready to pull out ‘for just such an occasion’.

A word of caution, though…as wild and animalistic as flings can get, don’t think for a second that your fling is obligated to do whatever you want just because it’s crazy and you want it.

That kind of attitude is a major thrill-kill, and it’s pretty far removed from any brand of ‘powerful sex’. It’s obnoxious and it’s overbearing.

Pleasure is not always a two-way street, and neither one of you should ever feel pressured into doing anything that doesn’t get you off, too.

One person will almost always want more than the other, so don’t get nuts over it.

I think that’s good advice for women as well as men.

Incidentally, if you want a person that will blindly do whatever you want without question, you should probably be out looking for a ‘professional’, not a summer fling.

Did I mention this before? Flings are supposed to be fun!

ALWAYS have fun!

Enjoy every bit of the life you’re living before it’s gone.

Before you know it, it will be gone.

Flings will vanish with a puff of smoke.

On the serious side of things…don’t ever forget that a fling is a two-way street.

Don’t let yourself get jealous or upset at the other person for what they do on their own.

A casual fling means that you can take it or leave it, and that goes for both people.

Anything casual can end at any time.

Casual means ‘unexpected’ and ‘lucky’ and ‘uncertain’ and you can make life pretty damn painful for yourself if you try to make it into something it’s not.

The idea is that a fling can – and typically will – end at any time and for any number of unknown reasons, and that is when both people should walk away.

Casual means that you can take it or leave it.

You have to be able to see when things have run their course.

Neither of you is committed.

We’re talking about a fling, not a ‘soulmate’.

If you found one fling, you can find another.

It’s casual.

It’s not permanent.

It’s a fling.

Don’t get nuts over it.


And this goes for the guys just as much as for the ladies.

Probably the single biggest ‘casual fling killer’ is getting way too serious, way too fast.

A summer fling is NOT A Committed Relationship.

Don’t expect the other person to act as though it is.

It’s casual. It’s fun. It’s a fling. It’s sex. That’s all it ever will be.

While we’re on the subject, don’t trash your good times with obsessive texting and DM’ing or gibberish about a white picket fence, walking hand-in-hand through a meadow or cuddling in the morning sunlight.

That’s not what a fling is about.

It is about getting off and nothing more. It’s a fling. It’s sex. That’s all it ever will be.

If the time comes when both of you are leaning toward the serious side of life, then you can safely broach the subject, but you better be absolutely sure of it when you do.

And you never, never, never bring it up before, during or just after an exhausting sexual escapade!

Especially if it’s one of those insanely pagan pleasures that happens to be ‘illegal in ten states’!

A real mood killer.

I’m telling you, if you do those things anyway, you’ll come off like some kind of lunatic-stalker-whack job, and you’ll blow it. Word will get around ‘pool side’ and if you don’t end up with a police report and a restraining order, you sure as hell won’t ever get another chance like the one you just lost.

Whether they know you or not, folks will hear all about you and the way you acted.

Summers will always come to an end. There’s nothing you can do about that.

Summer flings will, too, and no, there’s nothing you can do about that one, either.

But, if nothing else, just remember – casual means that you can take it or leave it. When it comes time to leave it, then leave it, but when you take it, take all you can get while you can get it. And have yourself a good goddamn time doing it!

Have fun!

Enjoy your fling while it lasts!

And when it’s run its course, let it go.

Besides…the best part of any fling comes on that far-off day, deep inside some distant dreary December, when you’re stuck back in your rut, feeling like hammered shit, and suddenly that pile of memories from your summer fling resurfaces and puts that devious grin back on your lips and lights that beaming shine in your eyes…and then all is right with the world!

About Frank Weber:

Frank Weber is a freelance writer from Erie, Pennsylvania. He has been published in several print and digital magazines, local interest books and advertising campaigns as both writer and model. His work encompasses a firm conviction, a simple honesty in written word and enough of a raw edge to make people feel what they read. Website:

Twitter: @frankietatts_

Instagram: @frankietatts

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