By Frank Weber
That’s a good question. “Is online dating still worth it in 2023?”
I think it is still worth it simply because it has to be worth it – it’s the way things are now.
On-line is the norm now for most everything.
Everything is on-line because it makes everything so much easier to get.
We pay our bills and do our banking on-line.
We order our food on-line and we catch a ride downtown on-line.
We can buy anything we want on-line and have delivered to our doorstep, sometimes on the same day.
Everything nowadays is so simple and so much more convenient, isn’t it?
But, just like everything else in this world, that simple, easy life has a price tag attached.
There is always a trade-off. Always.
And it can cost you – and cost you plenty.
The world gave up one of its most critical needs in exchange for the simple, easy life…SAFETY.
We trust that our banks and our on-line shops won’t get hacked.
We trust that our banking and credit card numbers – and our money – won’t be stolen.
We trust that the apps we put on our phones are all legit and are not being used against us.
That’s a lot of trust being shelled out.
BUT…you don’t get anything for nothing.
And so many people willingly trust that the folks they meet on-line are all good people.
“We should give everyone the benefit of the doubt.”
That’s an ancient idea carried over from the days of physically going into a bank to get money and going out to pick up a pizza and going out to meet strangers face-to-face in a bar.
I have to call bullshit on that idea of giving the benefit of the doubt.
You don’t owe anyone the benefit of any doubt when your personal safety – even your life – may be at risk.
Let me say that again.
You don’t owe anyone the benefit of any doubt when your personal safety – even your life – may be at risk.
You don’t have to put yourself at risk to make sure that you’re not at risk. Get it?
Remember this simple rule…If it FEELS like something is wrong, then something IS wrong!
I’m really not trying to sound preachy, so just bear with me another minute or two.
You have to keep in mind that when you meet someone on-line, until you meet them face-to-face, they are nothing more than a stranger. I don’t care if you’ve been texting till the wee hours of the morning for weeks on end, they are still a stranger, no matter what they may have said to you in those texts.
When you meet someone on-line, until you meet them face-to-face and really get to know them, they will always be a stranger and nothing more.
If you finally agree to some private, isolated meeting between just you and that person – after only texting without any other contact – you could get hurt or worse. And if that happens, you can’t just leave a bad review on YELP against your attacker. You could end up in a ditch.
If that sounds too harsh, then good. It’s something people need to hear.
And that goes for men just as much as it does for women. There are just as many deranged women as there are men out there. Keep that in mind, guys. Never believe for a second that no woman can hurt you. It’s been my experience that there are many women that should be feared much more than any man. Yeah, guys…they can take you, and if you give a nut-case the chance, she will.
On-line dating can be such a good thing because it’s made the world a much smaller place.
It makes it so much easier for anyone looking for a companion to meet people with the same interests.
It goes without saying that it’s made it infinitely easier to find a one-night stand.
You can find one with just a swipe of the screen.
It’s just as easy to find someone who’s ok with regular, no-strings sex.
Many people are wanting and willing and looking.
Problem is, it makes it just as easy for the creepers to find new victims. People trolling on-line for an easy target are going to grab at them fast and hard. They’re going to lay it on as thick as they can in texts because it lets them sit in their ‘mother’s basement’ and stay hidden instead of driving around looking for someone to grab. Shit, if they can con some kid on-line and get that kid to come to them, why would they pass up the chance?
BE SAFE!
On-line dating is the way the dating world is now, and I still say it can be a good thing.
It’s a rarity for people to meet the old-fashioned way – like bumping into someone’s cart at the grocery store or striking up a conversation with the person in front of you in line or sitting next to you at a bar.
But, no, we can’t…all of that takes up too much time. No one has the time to meet anyone that way these days. Everyone’s so damn busy. Makes me wonder what it is exactly that occupies so much time in people’s lives.
Anyway…BE SAFE!
Since on-line dating is now woven into society’s fabric, anyone with half a desire for it should learn to embrace it with open arms.
But, BE SAFE!
You can meet strangers on-line, but there’s no reason you should have to, or ever agree to, a blind-meeting – alone – and in some unfamiliar place. That’s a definite RED FLAG!
If they’re someone you really want to meet – and they really want to meet you – there’s nothing wrong with getting together in a familiar place and with a couple friends.
Even if you just want to meet for one-time sex, at the very least make sure other people are around when you first meet.
But NEVER go it alone.
If someone keeps trying to convince you that everything’s ‘ok’ and you ‘don’t need any friends with you’ and this place is ‘safe, don’t worry so much’…RUN LIKE HELL!
Even a panting hook-up won’t work you that hard.
Think about it…if a guy (or a girl) just wants to get laid, then that’s all they’re looking for, and
if there’s no chance at no-strings sex, they’re more likely to ‘ghost and be gone’.
They’re not likely to work so hard at changing minds with so many other folks out there looking for sex, too. Since so many people use on-line dating for hook-ups, it’s something that everyone should remember.
Plenty of Fish is called that for a reason.
If you can’t hook that one, there’s always another one about to swim by.
Everyone wants to find what they want and they want it as fast as they can get it.
Everyone is that way, but it doesn’t mean you should ever forget to take care of yourself.
On-line dating seems to work great for people with weird and unusual kinks looking for even weirder and more unusual, casual sex. But even they will typically meet in a group of some sort.
But you still have to BE SAFE! For every group that pops up, its degenerates will pop up right along with it, bottom-feeders scrounging for anything they can scarf-up.
Here’s a good example…back when I was modeling, I knew a guy – a gay male model.
He was a good guy – a nice guy – and he was a 100%, bubbly and confident gay man.
He made sure there was no question about that!
One day, a photographer invited him to a “party photo-shoot” at a hotel room she had reserved.
He didn’t give it much thought because modeling shoots can be in some pretty unusual settings. He didn’t give it much thought, that is, until the ‘host’ tried to ply him with whiskey. He swears he saw her put something in it. So what did he do? He damn near broke down the door getting out of there.
Everyone knew he was gay, but that didn’t matter to the ‘host’. He later found out that she – and her friends – had other plans for him, and they didn’t care that he was gay – they were going to get what they wanted from him. If he didn’t enjoy it, well, that was just tuff-tits for him.
Turns out, a few of them – including the host – got arrested not long after that for an assortment of ‘related’ charges involving a different model.
Point is, if it don’t feel right, it ain’t right!
Never let anyone talk you – or trick you – into doing something you do not want to do!
At the same time, you can’t be so afraid of what might happen that you don’t let anything happen. That’s no way to live. You can’t even imagine all that you would miss!
Social media doesn’t help the situation at all. How many times do you see erroneous, unsubstantiated reports of human trafficking with generic warnings that “just want to protect” people? The truly tragic end of this is that the very real threat of occurrences like human trafficking get rounded and overlooked as people get jaded to hearing about them.
I mention human trafficking because I once went to a group photo-shoot in Ohio, where two models bailed at the last minute, hysterical and in tears, because of their fear of being kidnapped! The two of them kept calling me for advice and asking me questions, and we spent weeks talking over safety and all we could do together as a very public group.
So sad that they still allowed themselves to be convinced they would be kidnapped and shipped off to the Middle East for sale! Actually, looking back I think they probably thought I was one of the kidnappers!
Their fears were very real to them, and sadly those fears forced them to miss out on what could’ve been a wonderful experience for both of them.
Something as simple as on-line dating shouldn’t be so complicated, but it can be just as horribly dangerous as it can be wonderfully beautiful.
It all comes down to a question of common sense and safety.
BE SAFE!
On-line dating isn’t going away anytime soon, so there’s nothing wrong with using it to get whatever it is you want.
We’re all better off learning how to use it instead of letting it use us.
It’s always possible to tame the beast…and have a really good time along the way!
But, hey, hey, hey….let’s be careful out there!
About The Author:
Frank Weber is a freelance writer from Erie, Pennsylvania. He has been published in several print and digital magazines, local interest books and advertising campaigns as both writer and model. His work encompasses a firm conviction, a simple honesty in written word and enough of a raw edge to make people feel what they read. Website: www.frankietatts.com
Twitter: @frankietatts_
Instagram: @frankietatts