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What’s in Your Sexual Bucket List?














By Frank Weber

Copyright ©2023


Bucket List = things to do before you ‘kick the bucket’.

BUT…to me it means, “Holy Shit! Wait till you hear what I did!

I like that second meaning more because it makes it a little more exciting and a lot more interesting. And it doesn’t fixate on inevitable death.

My meaning takes away the ominous undertones of death. I like that better.

 

And hell, when you get right down to it, if any of us are going to do anything that flirts with death, I think pretty much every one of us would rather be in the saddle when ‘death’ does grab us.

 

Some folks make a big deal about crossing-off things off their list like sky-diving or shark diving, and those are both something I personally would still like to do.


They’re exciting and they’re adventurous…and they’re both out of reach for most folks.

Those are lofty goals, sure, but what are the odds you’ll ever get the chance to do them?

Maybe. Maybe not.

 

Now, with sex, all you need is a willing partner (or partners) and the understanding that there’s always the possibility that you might end up in jail if things go wrong.


With sex, you don’t have to worry about splatting flat as a pancake if your chute fails.

With sex, you don’t have to worry about being bitten in half if a Great White should breach your shark cage.


With a little planning and forethought, about all you have to worry about with any kind of ‘sex in your bucket list’ is getting caught doing it. That is exciting and adventurous and can make it all worth while!

 

There are a few things that come to mind immediately when I think about a list for sexual acts that scream, “Holy Shit! Wait till you hear what I did!


I’ve done a lot in my days, and I have my own experiences, but this is not my list.

Yes, I did a couple of the things on it, but the list as a whole is not mine and, no I have not done everything on it. But that’s just me.


Now that my disclaimer is out of the way, let’s give the sexual bucket a once-over and see what’s inside…


 

#1Any talk about a sexual bucket list will almost always begin with The Mile High Club.

I’m not sure ‘why’ – maybe it’s because I’m not a ‘member’.


Still, I have to wonder – is it really a thing or is just something everyone wants to try because it sounds so James Bondish?


Compartments and spaces seem pretty narrow on planes, so it only seems to suit the perfectly thin and fit.


Aren’t planes a little too crowded these days to just go for it in your seat? Or is that the electric charge of doing it?


I’m not a member, and, no, I’ve never even flown before – so I can’t say for sure.

I can only speculate and ask the questions.


Some people say, “Oh yeah! Absolutely! I’ve done it!” and some people say, “There’s no way you could do it! There’s no room!”


I’d like to believe in a world where there is always room for sex.

 

If you fly a lot and you get that “Penthouse Forum” chance of a lifetime, why not figure it out for yourself?


I say go for it and check this one off the list.


When you do, you will definitely have joined a very select club!


 

#2Next thing in the bucket is Group Sex of Any Kind be it a threesome, a four-way, swinging or even an all-out orgy. I used to think it was mostly a ‘guy thing’ to want a threesome, but I’m hearing of more and more women that want it just as much as men.

It’s not so much a male cliché any longer.


Same goes for swinging. Anymore, women shock the hell out of me!


The ‘whore of Babylon’ label applied by ‘decent citizens’ of the ‘Golden Age’ doesn’t really apply to modern women who only want to exercise their lust.


They’re not so easily scared or swayed or intimidated anymore. Thank God!

If they have an itch for a kink, they scratch it.


And it’s a kink, that is for sure.


I guess the only intimidating part of the group-thing could be ‘who to do first and how and who does what when’, but there will be a few of you together, so you should be able to figure that one out.


Bottom line is that it’s still taboo and it’s still considered a forbidden pleasure and that makes it even more enthralling to do, and that is what makes it a good addition to a sexual bucket list.


As long as everyone involved is willing, accepting and able to handle the ‘sharing’ of each other’s bodies, it’s actually a pretty easy item to check off your list.


 

#3Sex in Public in a bar bathroom, the backseat of a car, out in the woods, on the beach, in a park – is probably the easiest of all of these to check off the list. Just go for a ride out in the country and find a secluded spot to park.

 

I remember when I was a kid, my girlfriend’s family had some woodland property, and deep inside it was a small brook with a little clump of trees in the middle of it.

We spent entire days there, inside of the hot and steamy summer woods.


But you have to be careful with this one. It’s the one real instance that can land you in cuffs – and not the fun, fuzzy kind, either. Just try to explain that absence to your boss when you have to call in ‘sick’!

 

Don’t make an extravagant-billboard-spectacle of yourself doing it, and you most likely won’t get caught. See? Easy-peasy.

 

Sometimes, keeping a low profile isn’t so easy. Have you ever walked into a bar bathroom to find a couple going at it on the sink? Most people I’ve known either turned around and left or just worked around them. But not everyone is so forgiving. Some folks live to complain about other folks. If a ‘Karen’ catches you, you can bet she’ll call the cops. Even if they are called, it’s pretty easy to get out of it – deny, deny, deny. There’s still that risk factor, though.

 

It won’t be so easy if you’re in a backseat and your car is parked out in the open for all to see. Even the most liberal and lazy police officer is going to give you grief for that one.


Remember not to make an extravagant-billboard-spectacle of yourself doing it, and you most likely won’t get caught. Make it easy for on-lookers to look away.

 

No matter how you do it, you shouldn’t ignore it for your bucket list.


It’s a keeper and so are all of the memories and stories you’ll get out of it!

Trust me…


 

#4Sex in Water, whether in the ocean, a lake, standing up in the shower or sitting in a tub, for some reason this one holds a deep fascination for a lot of people.I know because I’m one of them.


The whole idea of it is so exciting…and it was even more so when I first tried it.

 

We were just off the shoreline, in just enough water to cover our hips. It would be easy to tell what we were doing, but impossible to actually see what we were doing. Out in the surf, you’re also out in public. It’s like a two-fer. There were people on the beach close by us, but like in any crowd, it seems like the more people are around, the less they can see.

 

But…Spoiler alertsex under water can be pretty difficult to pull off.


Consider this: Most lubes will wash off in water. Most lotions will come off in water. In other words, the longer you’re in the water, the more you lose almost every possible source of lubrication, and that includes natural. On the surface, anyway.


That can make things uncomfortable, if not downright painful.

 

Then you have motion to consider. A shower or a tub are a lot more forgiving than the ocean’s current, or even a lake’s current, but remember that if you fall in the ocean, you hit water. If you fall in the tub or shower, you hit porcelain or tile. Not a fun thing.


I would recommend shower handles. Anyway…

 

Let’s just forget about how it goes in the movies. The beautiful Hollywood couple run into the ocean and make instant love beneath the waves, with the surf falling down over them.


In the real world, you are going to have to work for this one.


Here’s a hint from my experience: use the rhythm of the waves to rock your bodies together.

Once you get it started, you’ll be good. Oh, man, will you be good!

We went back for more.

 

Be careful, though. Those little rippling waves have a ton of energy rolling them from underneath. Go out hip-deep in the surf and just try to stand still – you’ll see what I mean.

Now imagine holding your partner up in your arms without falling over, all while you’re having sex.


Sure, you can do it, but it ain’t easy. Not at first, anyway.

Just let your bodies rock in the rhythm of the waves. Don’t fight them.

It’s like anything sexual…you don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it, so give it a try.

And then try it again. And again.

 

Still, I’ll tell you this about the ocean…once you figure out how to get inside, and stay inside, and you can keep the two of you from falling over in the surf, it is one of the hottest, freest, most intensely sexual experiences you can ever, ever hope to have!

 

All things being equal, and in particular out in public, I think this one’ll give you the biggest bang for your buck!


 

#5Same-Sex Experimentation is another cliché, but in recent years, it seems to have made its way into the top five on the list. Remember in movies whenever the question of girl-on-girl came up, the answer was always the same, “I experimented in college”?


And in those same movies, the only mention of guy-on-guy was in the form of a joke?

Times have certainly changed.


It used to be a female-owned cliché, but recently, it’s taken off for both sexes, and in a very real way.


Maybe it’s due to the new liberation and more accepting and freer attitudes? That’s probably the case. But then again, who cares? It doesn’t really matter.


Besides, where would the world be if nobody ever experimented? So, if it’s on your list, go experiment.


Even if you keep it hidden in your bucket because you’re afraid someone might find out, I think you could find a way. If that is the case, you most likely already have a ‘way’ in mind…and a ‘way’ to go.


It’s not my thing, but if just the thought of doing it makes your heart pound, then go for it.

 

After all, feeling good is good enough!

 

And that is exactly what this kind of list should give you in the first place. A good feeling.

It shouldn’t be there as a fixation on the end so you can feel accomplished when the reaper finally does come-a-callin’. That only gives you bad feelings.

 

My kind of list is meant to make your blood pump and your heart pound and make things hard and get things wet. If you don’t think it, you won’t do it, and if you won’t do it, you can’t ever live it.

 

Your bucket list is here to help you live life now while you still can, so, go…do what you do!

 

Live a little!



About Frank Weber:  


Frank Weber is a freelance writer from Erie, Pennsylvania. He has been published in several print and digital magazines, local interest books and advertising campaigns as both writer and model. His work encompasses a firm conviction, a simple honesty in written word and enough of a raw edge to make people feel what they read. Website: www.frankietatts.com


Twitter: @frankietatts_


Instagram: @frankietatts

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