Friday Night in the Suburbs VI
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By Rachel Turney
Copyright ©2026
Adult Activity Book Entry Six: Spring Awakening - Sex Tips
You hear quite a bit about my sex life, so this month I sought out some tips from others. When I went to my friends, I found many felt they didn’t have advice to share because they were struggling with intimacy and maintaining a positive sexual relationship with their partner themselves. That is relatable to me because Zach and I also are in a time of high stress and our once gratuitous sex life has waned a bit. Relationships aren’t all about sex though. That truth of the sexual relationship being about so much more than just the physical is one of the themes I noticed during this sex tip compilation. I reached out to my in-real-life friends and my broader Instagram community and pulled together some of my favorite ideas!
Rachel’s Sex Tips from: The Suburbs of Denver
Be yourself. Don’t hide things from your partner about your wants and needs. This theme of open communication came up in all of the sex tip surveys I received back.
Learn and grow together. Both you and your partner should be evolving as sexual individuals and bringing that growth to your shared sexual experience. Zach is always reading articles and advice about sex and trying new things in the bedroom. I also prioritize keeping our relationship intimate and engaging. One way I do that is by writing this article. You are doing that right now by reading this article.
Think of the other person and their wants and needs. How can you make their day a little better, sexually or otherwise? Don’t lose or dismiss the small things that take minimal effort, like a morning kiss, a shower together, or changing up positions.
Jeffrey’s Sex Tips from: The Countryside
“Don’t think; just react.” Jeffery says that overthinking intimacy has led to shortcomings in his relationship. Jeffery’s advice is to set aside what you can and come to the bedroom with as few distractions as possible. This advice connects well with my very first Friday Night in the Suburbs article where I detail the importance of making the bedroom a sanctuary for sex.
“Guide and offer guidance.” Jefferey points out the importance of talking, communicating, and being honest. Feeling comfortable giving feedback and discussing your sex life together takes time and trust.
“Talk about kinks and fantasies.” These conversations can take place outside of intimate situations. Jeffrey suggests that talking about sex in non-sexual situations can be more productive than in the heat of the moment.
Amy’s Sex Tips from: St. Louis
“Try something you might have dismissed in the past.” Amy suggests combining something you have previously rejected with what you already know and enjoy. This can open the door to new experiences in a less intimidating way.
“Communication is important, but it doesn’t have to look one way.” Amy suggests showing rather than telling here. How sexy and fun!
“Foreplay and post-coital intimacy can increase feelings of desire and satisfaction.” One way Amy suggests doing this is by initiating sex in a new way. Her idea was strip poker. That’s a great activity for a Friday night. I would add to this and say to be sure to slow down and make time and space for cuddling before and after sex. Try to avoid jumping up and moving on to the next thing. Be mindful and work to ensure sex doesn’t become something on your to-do list.
Carolyn’s Sex Tips from: New York
“Remember how it all started.” Carolyn suggests reconnecting with the things you enjoyed at the beginning of your relationship. Do you have photographs, videos, or even a special place you could revisit to reflect on and maybe rekindle some of those initial encounters with your partner?
“Don’t skip date night.” This is something Zach and I have to intentionally focus on as well. We work from home and are together most of the time so making a meal or event seem special is a little more difficult. We have a restaurant we like to visit and make a point to get dressed up and leave behind our phones when we go there. That restaurant has become a special date night spot to us that signifies we are going to engage with each other in a romantic and thoughtful way.
Carolyn’s suggestion is a little different. She says to take turns planning date nights and not repeat the same experience twice. Carolyn suggests that finding new things you enjoy together creates fresh and stronger bonds.
“Take a romantic trip.” Carolyn says she and her partner make sure to get away together at least once a year to a secluded place where they can just be together. This year they went to a cozy cabin in the woods for a three-day weekend. Last year they went on a snorkeling trip. They make time for the two of them to just be. Carolyn said they don’t even take books or anything that would distract them from one another on these trips.
Write your own tips! What have you learned about how to best connect with your partner? Making your own list can help you reflect on what works in your relationship. What are you proud of? How and when have you thrived most together? You can share your tips with your partner if you feel that might help you connect, or just keep them as a reflection of what you have learned and as a list of goals. You can also share them with me as I compile my next installation of Sex Tips. turneytalks@gmail.com
If you missed it, please check out other installments in this series:
About Rachel Turney:
Rachel Turney, Ed.D. (she/her) is an educator and artist located in Denver. Her poems, research articles, reviews, and drawings can be found in a variety of publications. Rachel is passionate about immigrant rights, teacher support, and empowering other artists. She is a Writers’ Hour prize winner and Best-of-the-Net nominee. Her photography appears on a few magazine covers. Rachel runs the popular online reading series Poetry (in Brief). She is on staff at Bare Back Magazine with her monthly column Friday Night in the Suburbs. She reads for The Los Angeles Review. Website: turneytalks.com Instagram: @turneytalks Bluesky: rachelturney
Order Rachel’s chapbook: Women Making Soup Together with Vinegar Press
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