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Friday Night in the Suburbs VII

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  • 2 hours ago
  • 3 min read












By Rachel Turney

Copyright ©2026


Adult Activity Book Entry Six:  The Six Second Kiss 


I just kissed Zach for six seconds. You might have heard about the Six Second Kiss trend on social media. The idea stems from research by John and Julie Gottman. They state that the six seconds isn’t symbolic, but must be realized in order to release the hormone oxytocin. This makes our brain feel safe and calm. Neuroeconomist  Paul Zak’s research suggests that a hug lasting twenty seconds also has this effect. 


There has been further research on this topic by Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz, and James Witte. Their work, which culminated in a book, The Normal Bar, found that couples who engage in small gestures daily are happier. What small gestures show me is that a partner is thinking of the other person, willing to take a break from their agenda to do something for the other, and that they genuinely like them. It sounds simple, but this becomes lost over time in many relationships. 


Creating a ritual of focus and intimate connection is a powerful tool in maintaining what many people refer to as “the honeymoon phase”. That time of infatuation and obsession with the other person doesn't have to end if we mindfully focus on our partner. Here are the ways my partner and I focus on each other: 

  1. Say “I Love You” - Stop everything and look them in the eye and say the words or another meaningful phrase you have developed. Focus fully on the other person and your love for them. I don’t mean the running-out-the-door ‘love ya’, this is an intense exchange of verbal love that you and the receiver should feel. 

  2. Write Love Notes - Taking the time to write down how we feel and why we appreciate our partner is a great exercise for the writer and the reader. It also gives us something to go back to. Zach and I store our love notes in a box that we get out every once in a while and we read a few. We also keep a love notebook where we trade notes that are then kept in one place. 

  3. Ring Ceremony - My partner and I have wedding rings that we place on the other’s hand each morning and remove each night. Even if we have an early flight or a late evening, we make time for this connecting ritual. For those who don’t do rings this could be any morning and evening ritual, like a phrase exchange, or a physical connection like a kiss. 

  4. Kiss! - Kiss your partner for six seconds every day. We have hectic lives and have to push to make time for our special person and the relationship we chose with them. Try this for a week or month and see if it makes a difference for you and your partner. 

  5. Hug! - Hug your partner daily for twenty seconds. Spend time connecting physically in this gesture of trust. This builds connection and helps create a positive bond. Might I suggest you consider a naked hug for this activity. Zach and I try to shower together whenever our schedules allow. An embrace in a hot shower is very peaceful and edifying.


Slow down this month and spend time with a six second kiss and a twenty second hug. See where that intimacy, care, and connection takes you. 


Have a sexy Friday night!

From the suburbs,

Rachel Turney


I am working on data collection for an article about sex in unexpected places. If you would like to add your wildest and hottest sex locations to the list email me and keep an eye out for my next installment in May - The Mile High Club. Safe flying until then… 


Email me your sex-tips and wild sex locations: turneytalks@gmail.com 


If you missed it, please check out other installments in this series:


About Rachel Turney: 

Rachel Turney, Ed.D. (she/her) is an educator and artist located in Denver. Her poems, research articles, reviews, and drawings can be found in a variety of publications. Rachel is passionate about immigrant rights, teacher support, and empowering other artists. She is a Writers’ Hour prize winner and Best-of-the-Net nominee. Her photography appears on a few magazine covers. Rachel runs the popular online reading series Poetry (in Brief). She is on staff at Bare Back Magazine with her monthly column Friday Night in the Suburbs. She reads for The Los Angeles Review. Website: turneytalks.com Instagram: @turneytalks Bluesky: rachelturney 




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